What My Parents Taught Me About Mentorship — A Toastmasters Speech and the Lessons Behind It
When we think about mentorship, we tend to picture boardrooms, corner offices, and sage advice from seasoned colleagues. But some of the most profound mentorship happens long before we ever step into a workplace. It happens at home, around kitchen tables, on living room couches — even in shopping malls. This is the story of how my parents shaped the person I am today, and what their example taught me about what true mentorship really looks like.
The Word That Defined Me
One of my best friends gave a speech at my wedding. As part of his preparation, he asked 20 of my closest friends to each share one word they'd use to describe me. The responses ranged from "nice" to "enthusiastic" to "loyal" — and one friend, Jordan, chose the word "beautiful," which remains a questionable but flattering choice.
But there was one word that stood out above all the rest. Fifty percent of my friends — 10 out of 20 — chose the same word: genuine.
That word stuck with me. And when I began preparing a speech on mentorship for my Toastmasters Pathways Level 2 project, I realised something important: this quality wasn't something I picked up in a professional setting. It was ingrained in me much earlier — by my parents.
My Father's Career-Defining Lesson
In 2005, my family gathered in our living room in Taber, Alberta, to celebrate my dad's retirement. My siblings and I sat on the couch, my mom on the loveseat, and my dad in his recliner in the corner. Balloons and a congratulatory banner filled the room. As Dad shared stories from his years of owning a small business, my mom asked him a simple but powerful question:
"Tom, what is one lesson you've learned throughout your career that you think would be beneficial to the kids as they enter their working days?"
He thought about it for a moment, then said: "Attitude isn't the most important thing. It's everything."
That quote has stayed with me through every stage of my career. During the tough times — the chaos, the setbacks, the moments when it would be so easy to lean into negativity or join the gossip — my dad's words remind me to choose a positive attitude and be the exception. And during the good times — a promotion, a new role — when impostor syndrome creeps in, those same words ground me. The skills can be learned. The experience will come. But attitude? That's the controllable.
My Mother's Daily Example
For years, I gave all the credit to my father's quote. But in preparing this speech, I finally connected a crucial dot: while Dad gave me the advice, it was my mom's daily example that showed me what a great attitude actually looks like in practice. She taught me three things — not through lectures, but through the way she lived.
Lesson One: Be a Great Listener
When you talk to my mom, it feels like there is nobody else in the world. She gives you her full attention. She looks directly at you. She smiles. She nods. She asks follow-up questions. It's a gift that makes everyone around her feel valued.
I didn't make the connection for years, but I went on to study journalism and have hosted more than 250 podcast episodes. I've spent a career listening and asking questions. Looking back, I think the reason I'm drawn to that work is because of how good it feels to be heard by my mom — and I want to give that same experience to others.
Lesson Two: Be Kind to Everyone
From a young age, my mom taught me the importance of being polite and treating everyone with respect. I remember in fourth grade, I would phone a friend's house and say, "Hello, Mrs. Beckering. How are you doing today? May I please speak to Ross?"
It might seem like a small thing, but contrast that with my friends calling my house: "Uh, is Wade there?" It stood out. My mom taught me that no matter who you're talking to — regardless of their role or status — you treat them with respect and show a genuine interest in who they are.
Lesson Three: Have Patience
This lesson didn't come at the kitchen table or on a drive to school. It came in a shopping mall.
When I'd go shopping with my mom, I'd get a few stores to myself, and then it was her turn — which meant women's clothing stores and, inevitably, the fitting room. I'd sit on those chairs just outside, waiting. No cell phone. No Game Boy. No interest in women's fashion magazines. Just sitting and waiting.
"Mom, this is so boring," I'd say.
"Wade, I'm teaching you patience," she'd reply. "And believe it or not, your future partner will thank me for this."
My wife Shireen does, in fact, thank my mom on a regular basis — I'm apparently a treat to go shopping with. But beyond that, the patience my mom built in me has shaped how I make decisions. I don't rush on gut instinct alone. I take the time to think things through, whether it's a life decision or a business move.
The Full Circle: What It Means to Mentor
My daughter is eight months old now, and I think a lot about the person she'll become. If she grows up to be someone who listens well, who is kind to others, who has patience — and most importantly, who is genuine and authentic to herself — then I'll know I've done my job. Not only as a father, but as a mentor.
Reflections on the Speech: What Worked and What I'd Improve
After delivering this speech at my Toastmasters club, I had the chance to reflect on what went well and what I could sharpen for next time. Here are a few takeaways — both from my evaluator and from my own self-assessment:
What worked:
- Structure: The speech had a clear introduction, came full circle at the end, and balanced both parents' contributions. Grouping my mother's lessons into three memorable points — listening, kindness, and patience — made the message easy to follow and retain.
- Storytelling: Each lesson was anchored to a specific, vivid story rather than presented as abstract advice. This made the speech engaging and relatable.
- Body language: I challenged myself to step away from the lectern and move into the middle of the audience. This created a more immersive experience, especially during the living room scene.
What I'd improve:
- Vocal variety: My evaluator noted that my voice sometimes dropped too low for the room. While a quieter tone can be a powerful tool for emphasis, the baseline volume needs to be loud enough for everyone to hear clearly.
- Word stumbles: I tripped over a few words early in the speech. It likely wasn't noticeable to the audience, but I was aware of it and it's something to keep refining in rehearsal.
- Making it about the audience: This is the biggest area of growth I identified. The speech was very personal — my story, my parents, my daughter. While storytelling is powerful, I believe I could have done more to turn the lens outward and help the audience connect those lessons to their own lives. A great speech doesn't just share a message; it makes the listener feel like the message belongs to them.
Conclusion
Mentorship doesn't always come with a title or a formal programme. Sometimes the most important mentors in our lives are the people who shape us through daily example — a parent who listens with full attention, who insists on kindness, or who turns a boring afternoon at the mall into a lifelong lesson in patience. If you're preparing your own mentorship speech, I'd encourage you to look beyond the workplace. The most authentic stories often come from the people who shaped you long before you ever stepped into a meeting room. And if you carry those lessons forward — whether as a parent, a colleague, or a friend — you're already mentoring, whether you realise it or not.