The Voltaire Challenge: Why Asking More Questions Could Transform Your Conversations
We all want to make a strong impression — whether we're networking, interviewing, or simply chatting with a colleague. But most of us default to the same approach: we talk about ourselves, share our credentials, and pitch our value. What if the real secret to connection and influence isn't about having the best answers, but about asking the best questions? Welcome to what I call The Voltaire Challenge.
Why Voltaire Had It Right
Voltaire once said, "Judge a man by his questions rather than by his answers." It's a deceptively simple idea, but it carries enormous weight in everyday professional and personal interactions. Questions signal curiosity, attentiveness, and genuine interest in the person sitting across from you. And unlike a letter — where a back-and-forth exchange of questions could take weeks — face-to-face conversations and networking events are the perfect arena for putting this philosophy into practice.
A Tale of Two Recruiting Interviews
Let me illustrate this with a real-world example from my work as a franchise development consultant. In my role, I help broker owners grow their businesses by recruiting new agents, retaining top talent, and developing their teams. One broker — let's call him Bob — was determined to recruit a high-producing agent in his city. We'll call her Sally.
Bob was frustrated. Despite what he thought was a stellar recruiting interview, Sally chose a competing brokerage. When I asked him to walk me through the conversation, here's what he described:
Bob had sat Sally down and launched into his pitch. He told her that his office had the highest-producing agents in the city, that the RE/MAX brand carried 91% consumer recognition so she'd never have to explain what she does for a living, and that his office offered constant virtual and in-person training. He wrapped it all up with a confident, "Sally, this is the office for you."
It sounded great on paper. But Sally didn't join.
What Happens When You Lead with Questions
Now imagine the same meeting, but with a different approach. Instead of launching into a monologue, Bob opens with a question:
"Sally, tell me a little bit about what you want to accomplish in your career."
Sally shares that she's had a great few years but believes she can reach another level. Bob follows up: "What's holding you back?" Sally opens up. She loves her current broker, but she's exhausted the office's training resources. She's tired of explaining her company's brand at every appointment because consumers don't recognize it. She's even hiring a third-party marketing company to fill the gaps.
Now Bob has something invaluable: Sally's own words describing her pain points. When he finally presents his office's strengths, he isn't guessing at what matters — he's speaking directly to her needs:
- Brand recognition: "You mentioned the frustration of explaining your brand. With RE/MAX, 91% of consumers already know the name. That problem disappears."
- Training: "You said you've run out of training options. Our office offers training multiple times a week — both virtual and in-person."
- Growth potential: "You told me you have another gear. I couldn't agree more, and here's exactly how we support that."
The information is identical. The delivery is entirely different. By asking questions first, Bob transforms a generic sales pitch into a personalized, compelling conversation. I fundamentally believe this approach would have dramatically increased his odds of recruiting Sally.
The Science Behind Asking Questions
This isn't just speculation — research backs it up. A 2017 Harvard study examined the impact of question-asking on interpersonal connection. Researchers placed participants into different groups: some were instructed to ask many questions during conversation, others were told to proceed normally, and a third group was told to deliberately avoid asking questions, especially follow-up questions.
The results were striking. Across the board, people who asked more questions were consistently rated as more likable by their conversation partners. Researchers found that question-asking increased perceptions of responsiveness — an interpersonal quality that encompasses listening, understanding, validation, and care.
Perhaps the most memorable finding? The study included a speed-dating component, and participants who asked more questions were significantly more likely to secure a second date.
Why We Don't Ask Enough Questions
Think about the last networking event you attended. Picture a group conversation where someone is telling a story. What is everyone else doing? Most people are only half-listening, mentally rifling through their own experiences to find a relevant anecdote they can contribute. They're waiting for their turn to speak, not genuinely engaging with the person in front of them.
Truly listening — and then asking a thoughtful follow-up question — is surprisingly rare. And that rarity is precisely what makes it so powerful. When you ask someone a follow-up question, you're communicating something most people fail to convey: "I heard you, and I want to understand more."
Take the Voltaire Challenge
Here's my challenge to you for the next 30 days: make a deliberate effort to ask more questions in every conversation you have. It doesn't matter if it's a quick exchange in the elevator, a chat with administrative staff at your office, or dinner with your spouse and kids. Approach each interaction as if someone is keeping score — one point for every question you ask. Your goal? Win every conversation by asking more questions than you make statements.
You don't need a better pitch, a sharper elevator speech, or more impressive credentials to make a lasting impression. You need better questions. When you lead with curiosity, you don't just gather information — you build trust, demonstrate empathy, and make the people around you feel genuinely valued. That's the kind of impact no monologue can match. So start today: ask one more question than you normally would, and see what happens.