The Gosling Challenge: Why Handwritten Letters Are the Most Underrated Form of Communication
In a world dominated by emails, texts, and instant messages, there's one form of communication that still carries extraordinary power — the handwritten letter. It's the kind of gesture that can make someone's entire month, sit on a dining room table for years, and remind people they matter in ways a digital message never could. And the inspiration for rediscovering this lost art? Surprisingly, it starts with a Canadian heartthrob and a love story.
What Ryan Gosling Can Teach Us About Impact
In the beloved film The Notebook, Ryan Gosling's character writes 365 letters to the woman he loves, played by Rachel McAdams. It's a beautiful, dramatic gesture — and while it's fiction, it illustrates something profoundly true: letters make an impact.
But this isn't an idea built on Hollywood romance. In 2019, I gave myself a personal challenge: write one letter per week — 52 letters over the course of a year — to people who had made a meaningful impact on my life. What happened next changed the way I think about communication entirely.
Why I Took On the Challenge
Two things drove me to commit to a year of letter writing:
- Letters are one of the best things in the world to receive. I've kept every single letter I've ever gotten. There's something about holding a handwritten note that no inbox notification can replicate.
- I was inspired by speaker and author Hal Elrod. At the 2019 R4 Conference, Hal shared a concept that stuck with me: every person starts their morning for one of two reasons — either because they have to or because they choose to.
The people who have to wake up are driven by external pressure — an alarm, a meeting, a child screaming for breakfast. They roll out of bed at the last possible second. But the people who choose to wake up — often earlier than necessary — tend to focus their mornings on one of six powerful activities:
- Exercise
- Visualization
- Meditation
- Positive affirmations
- Reading
- Writing — pen to paper
That sixth one jumped out at me. Hal suggests journaling or gratitude pages, but I decided to tweak the idea. Instead of writing to myself, I would write to other people.
The Results Were Extraordinary
I went into the challenge with zero expectations. My reasoning was simple: if letters mean this much to me, and they mean even a fraction of that to someone else, the whole process is worthwhile.
Here's what happened:
- Almost everyone responded. The vast majority told me the letter made their day — or their entire week.
- About a quarter of recipients wrote a letter back. As someone who treasures receiving letters, this was an incredible bonus.
- Many people told me they hadn't received a letter in 5, 10, or even 20 years. Some said they had never received a handwritten letter in their life.
The Letter on the Dining Room Table
One story stands out above the rest. There was a guy I knew from high school — we'd been decent friends over the years. I wrote him a letter in early 2019 and was surprised when I didn't hear back. He was someone I fully expected a response from.
Months passed. Then, in April, he called me for an unrelated reason. We chatted for a while, and at the end of the conversation, he said something I'll never forget:
"By the way, Wade — I never told you this, but I got your letter last year. At the time, I was going through some struggles at work and dealing with a few personal challenges. It meant a lot to me. I actually keep that letter on my dining room table, and I go back to it about once a month and read through it. I just needed you to know that."
Right there — if I hadn't heard from the other 51 people, the entire year-long process would have been worth it based on that one conversation.
Nobody Frames an Email
Think about it: when's the last time someone said that about an email you sent? "Wow, Karen, did you use Helvetica in this? I'm going to frame it. I'm going to read it every single day."
That doesn't happen. People delete emails. They archive them. They forget them.
But letters? Letters are different. Letters are kept, re-read, and treasured. Letters are impactful.
The Gosling Challenge: Your Turn
Here's my challenge to you: write eight handwritten letters over the next two months. That's one per week, on average. It doesn't have to be a novel — just something heartfelt, specific, and genuine.
Not sure who to write to? Consider these possibilities:
- A co-worker who's made your job better
- Someone you met at a conference or networking event
- A mentor or colleague in your industry
- Your spouse or partner
- Your kids — when's the last time you wrote your children a letter telling them you're proud of them?
In an age where communication is instant and disposable, a handwritten letter is a radical act of intention. It tells someone, "You mattered enough for me to slow down, pick up a pen, and put my thoughts on paper — just for you." So take the Gosling Challenge. Write the letters. You might be surprised by the impact — not just on the people who receive them, but on yourself.